


Reid's Mind

by PrettyKitty93



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Denial, Gen, Insanity, Mentions Of Schizophrenia, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyKitty93/pseuds/PrettyKitty93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mind is a delicate thing but the mind of the youngest agent seemed more so.<br/>The team knew that Reid had a mind that was too old and experienced for his fragile persona.<br/>And this made him seem a natural victim.<br/>Reid wondered about his sanity and how long it would be until he was in the home he had sent his mother to at the age of eighteen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worrying

**Author's Note:**

> Basically just uploading some old fics here that are already on fanfiction.net but this seems to be were I get the most reviews.  
> This is based on all the quotes Reid has said throughout the series' involving the mind and sanity.  
> Enjoy xxxx

**_It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone – Spencer Reid_ **

The mind is a delicate thing but the mind of the youngest agent seemed more so. The team knew that Reid had a mind that was too old and experienced for his fragile persona and this made him seem a natural victim. Whether this was for teasings from his fellow Profilers or for the Un Subs his mind managed to catch.

Reid pondered about this whenever either occasion should arise. Each time making him feel more and more secluded and vulnerable and seemingly unable to cope in his job. He wondered about his sanity and how long it would be until he was in the home he had sent his mother to at the age of eighteen.

' _No, I won't end there. I'm good at my job, the team says so.'_ Reid thought hard and defiantly about this. But the more he reminded himself of this the more he realized he would never call them _his_ team, it would always remain _the_ team.

Another case file was thrown across the large desk and he had to pull himself from his thoughts and once again focus his mind.

"So Reid, what do you think?"

"Excuse me?"

"The case."

"Oh ... mm ... well."

"Concentrate, Reid."

"Sorry, Hotch."

The meeting ended quite soon after and Hotch pulled Reid to one side.

"Reid, what's going on with you?"

"I'm sorry, Hotch. My mind drifted a little." Reid replied, honestly.

"That's not like you, Reid."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Everything okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"We'll talk after the case, okay."

Reid nodded in agreement not wanting to cause an argument.

Hotch walked off leaving the younger agent to follow him in silence.


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch isn't the only one who has noticed something wrong with Reid.  
> When working with Profilers, it's hard to hide what you're truly feeling.

“Kid, what’s going on with you?” Morgan asked the younger agent gently.

“Why is everyone worrying?” Reid hissed. “I’m fine.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realise. But for the record, I’m here if you need to talk, okay.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“What was that about?” Prentiss whispered, watching Reid walk off silently.

“Not sure. I think something is bothering him but he won’t let on what?”

“Hotch has tried talking to him, now you. I don’t think he’s willing to spill.”

“Yeah. He’ll tell us when he’s ready.”

“I hope he does.”

“Reid, what’s wrong?” Rossi asked, catching up to Reid.

“Nothing.” Reid muttered.

“You might be able to lie to the rest of the team but I know that’s not true.” Rossi pressed.

“What makes you the best?” Reid asked arrogantly. 

“You’re working with the best. They just know not to press a sensitive situation.”

“Then why are you?”

“If it is going to affect your job and your concentration then we need to know.”

“Know what?”

“If you’re still in a suitable state of mind to do this.”

“Of course I am. What are you trying to say that …” Reid replied, slightly hysterical.

“I’m trying to say that you’re worrying the team with your constant ‘mind-wandering’ and the team might assume that this is all getting to you.”

“Well it’s not.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Rossi replied, keeping the same tone.

“Fine.”

“You’re still young, Reid. And you have the brains and knowledge of someone twice your age …”

“And?”

“And, maybe that’s what’s affecting you. You’ve been the smartest kid in the class for so long that you feel you have something to prove.”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t!” Rossi snapped, grabbing the younger agent roughly by the arm and pulling him back.

The rest of the team were taken aback by this and just stood watching.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Reid spat back.

“You feel like you’re the newbie and because of that you’re not as good as everyone else and you try your damn hardest to prove that you’re just as good but no matter how hard you try you still feel that you don’t belong.” Prentiss replied, recalling her first days at the BAU.

Reid’s composure sagged and his face saddened.

Rossi loosened his grip on Reid’s arm and instead held it in a reassuring manner.

“Does that make me sound stupid?”

“No, it makes you sound human and just like the rest of us, Reid.”

“Yeah, kid. You say you don’t belong but truth is we’ve all felt the same things as you. We know there’s something wrong and it’s not just cause we’re profilers.” Morgan gave a reassuring smile.

“Okay. I’m sorry, guys.”

“Reid, do you want to stay with Garcia?” Hotch offered.

Reid chewed his bottom lip while he thought.

A cute little gesture nervous Reid always did, thought Emily.

“Well,”

“Go on, we’ll see you when we get back, okay.”

“Okay, Hotch. Oh and sorry.”

“Not a problem, I’m used to being yelled at.” Hotch chuckled.

Reid smiled in appreciation before turning in the direction of the computer techie’s wacky office.

“He’ll be okay, Hotch, my girl will make sure of that.” Morgan said as Hotch watched Reid walk away.

“Yeah, Garcia always looks after Reid.” Prentiss added.

“Well, come on guys.” Hotch said slightly brightly, his posture not quite reflecting his attitude.

“Sometimes I just wish Gideon had stayed.” JJ added in sadly, having decided to stay out of the conversation until now.

“Why’s that?” Morgan gave her a quizzical look.

“He understands him better. We all know that Gideon is the only one who has a brain that’s even _remotely_ on the same level as Spencer’s.”

“Yeah, true.” Morgan agreed.

The lift gave a ‘ping’ and the team stepped inside.


	3. Mama Garcia Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid is grounded and has to stay with Garcia.  
> But Mama knows how to look after her Baby Boy with the greatest of care.

Reid tapped lightly on the door of the techie’s office.

“Enter the lair of the imperial genius Penelope Garcia, mere mortal.”

“Hey, Garcia.”

“Baby Boy, what brings you here? Isn’t it wheels up in ten?”

“Yeah, but I’m staying.”

“Why, you’re not sick are you. You profilers work yourselves too hard.” Garcia replied worriedly, jumping up and placing a hand to Reid’s forehead.

“No, I’m just … slipping.”

“Reid, you’re scaring me.”

“Garcia, I think I’m losing it.”

“No you’re not, baby.”

“I feel like it.”

“Why, what’s happened?”

“I had another mind-wander in the conference room."

“Reid, are you working yourself too hard? Getting enough sleep?”

“No and yes, plenty off.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, Garcia, I’m sure.”

“Okay, if you need some sleep then Hotch just got me a couch.”

“I’m fine, thank you. Plus we have a case to work.”

“Okay, just take some time out if you need to, okay.”

“I will.”

“Good boy.”

Reid chuckled, before yawning softly.

Garcia cast sideways glance at the young agent and sighed softly.

Reid worried what had made Garcia sigh in such a way but thought against pressing the matter. He figured that she was probably tired.

In a couple of hours the team would be in New Orleans and he would still be here like a silly child.


	4. Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid let's exhaustion take over him.  
> And Garcia is sure he's never seen anything cuter.

Garcia’s phone beeped and she quickly pushed the button to save a disturbance.

_“Garcia, we’re just finishing up here now. Good work, you too, Reid.”_

“He can’t hear you, Hotch, he’s drifted off to the land of nod.”

 _“_ _Finally._ _”_ She heard Hotch sigh softly. _“_ _How long?_ _”_

“About half hour, an hour tops.”

 _“_   _O_ _kay, well, we'_ _ll_ _let him sleep until we get back, okay._ _”_

“No objections from me on that, been waiting for him to crash all day.”

 _“_ _Well, wheels up in about five so I_ _’_ _ll go now, okay._ _”_

“Come and see mama when you get back, okay.”

 _“_ _Sure, Garcia._ _”_

“Bye.”

 _“_ _Bye._ _”_

Garcia pressed the button and looked to where the young genius was sleeping, softly sighing and occasionally flinching in his sleep.

“Bless you, Baby Boy.” Garcia smiled, gently placing the couch throw over the young agent and kissing his temple softly.

Reid murmured in his sleep but didn’t wake.

“The team will be back soon. Hotch is so proud of you, Reid. He really is.” Garcia continued to talk to the sleeping agent, just to pass the time.

x..x

“Garcia,” The agent gently tapped on the door. “Baby Girl?”

Morgan opened the door to find Reid curled up on the couch and Garcia with her head on the desk.

He touched her shoulder softly, realizing she was fast asleep. He began to play with one of her curls and smiled while she sighed contently.

“Hey, Morgan.”

The once sleeping agent looked up with the eyes of a curious child who had just been roused from his sleep.

“Hey kid, feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I’m good thanks. Is Garcia okay?”

“Yeah, think she got bored of waiting for either you to wake up or for us to return.” Morgan chuckled.

“How long was I out?”

“Well, Hotch rung about two and a half hours ago and you’d been asleep about half hour, an hour maybe, so about three or four hours.”

“Great, that’s going to mess me up tonight.”

“You'll be fine.”

“You’re not me, Morgan, I don’t _sleep_ at three in the morning then get up at twelve.”

“I do not _sleep_ at three and get up at twelve in the afternoon.” Morgan protested, earning a slight giggle from his fellow agent.

Morgan smirked in response.

“Why don’t you tell her?” Reid asked, changing the subject.

Morgan gave a quizzical look to which Reid responded by inclining his head in Garcia’s direction.

“I can’t, this job is dangerous. If I tell her I love her, I could go out and get shot and it would break her heart.”

“So you’d rather break her heart by seeming like you care about her but never telling her.”

“Damn it, Reid, it’s not as simple as that.” Morgan hissed back to save from waking Garcia.

“Okay.” Reid replied softly.

He stood up and walked to where Garcia and Morgan where.

“Listen, I want to tell her, but I can’t.”

Reid seemingly ignored Morgan’s statement and instead looked intently at Garcia.

“Reid …”

“If you don’t wanna tell her then you’re best not saying anymore.”

“Why?”

“She’s waking up, her eyes just started fluttering.”

“You’re right.” Morgan replied simply, dropping the curl delicately and moving it back into place.

“Morgan?” Garcia asked sleepily.

“Yeah, Baby Girl, it’s me.”

“You took your time.”

“Traffic was bad on the roads. Few accidents apparently.”

“Okay.” Garcia replied simply, smiling at the agent. “Baby Boy, you’re awake.”

“Yeah, thanks for letting me sleep, Garcia.”

“No problem, Reid.” She smiled softly.


End file.
